Manage Your Time and Safe Your Marriage

The typical housewife begins each day with every good intention. As soon as her husband and kids are out the door, she nobly faces the disaster areas. She begins to think what to do first? The dishes, the beds, the ironing? The groceries, the errands, the car pool? In the midst of this entire trauma, the phone rings. This morning it’s a friend who is having trouble with her husband. Listening to twenty minutes of a tale of woe colors her own situation.

Confronting her own mess, she throws up her hands in despair. The morning is half gone and she thinks, “What’s the use?” Depressed, she pours herself another cup of coffee. She now has several choices for the rest of the day. She may whine, play the martyr, or escape with her box of bonbons to her favorite soap opera. When the kids come home at three o’clock, she screams at them because she’s mad at herself.

A doctor’s wife stopped by recently to discuss this very problem, which she seems to encounter every afternoon. Her husband diagnosed it as “the 4:30, 4:30, syndrome.” “Each afternoon at approximately 4:30 she said, “I drag myself to the kitchen and think, “what, oh what, shall I fix for dinner tonight?’” Her symptoms were rather predictable. First, she peeks into the freezer, wishing that her entrée could thaw miraculously. Next, she shuffles through the chicken and tuna fish in the cupboard, knowing either of these dishes would rate an “Ugh” from her husband.

Frustrated, she gathers the kids into the car, fights the five o’clock traffic to the store, and returns home with a headache and a pound of hamburger. By the time her husband enters the scene, she’s had it. She’s too tired to be available to him. She blames him for her mundane existence and takes her frustrations out in other activities. At tem o’clock she calls her girl friend and talks for forty-five minutes while her husband sits watching TV. Whenever he makes the first suggestive move toward her, she starts a new project of cleaning or sewing.

Her husband feels lonely and bewildered inside and thinks, “She doesn’t want to be with me anymore.” Feeling rejected, he acts aloof or grouchy, or sometimes just heads to bed as a protection. Perhaps you’re like many women who say, “I’m sorry, I can’t be available. I have seven kids, four car pools, and I’m overworked.” I have known bitted and frazzled housewives who have been transformed into calm and gentle complete women! By managing the time, you too can beat the 4:30 syndrome.

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